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Building Standards in Your Heart (Part 3): When Different Understandings of Love Conflict

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  When Different Standards of Love Meet In life, there are times when we receive love and times when we give it. Sometimes we are the ones who need love. At other times, someone else needs our love. There are also moments when both people are trying to love each other at the same time. Yet even when both people have good intentions, conflicts can still arise. Why does this happen? Too often, people argue, become frustrated, hurt one another, and drift apart without understanding the real reason behind the conflict. One important reason is that every person has developed a different understanding of love. Our ideas about love are shaped by our families, our experiences, our culture, and the environment in which we were raised. Because of this, each person carries a unique standard of what love looks like. When two people express love according to different standards, misunderstandings are almost inevitable. It is actually quite rare for two people to have exactly the same expectatio...
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The Value of Encounters, Part 3: The Things and the People We Have Met

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Have you ever stopped to think about where your emotions come from? The sadness you feel, the joy you express, the happiness you experience—have you ever wondered when those emotions were first created and why they still appear today? Think about the toys you loved as a child. Think about the friends you cherished. Think about the toys you disliked, the friends you resented, and the experiences that left a deep impression on your heart. As you grew older, you found new possessions that you loved and others that you disliked. You met friends you treasured and people who disappointed or hurt you. Perhaps someone excluded you, leaving you with painful memories. Perhaps someone encouraged you, supported you, and filled your heart with gratitude. Every one of those experiences created emotions that remained within you. Now, as an adult, you still have people you love, people you dislike, possessions you value, and memories that continue to influence your heart. When something happens t...
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The Value of Encounters, Part 1: What We Encounter

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From the time we are children, we receive many different toys and belongings. When someone gives us a special toy or object, we often feel joy. We become attached to it, and it brings happiness into our lives. Sometimes a toy can even become the source of painful memories. We may have argued or fought with someone over it. At other times, those same objects teach us how precious something can be. They may even awaken feelings of desire or greed within us. As we grow into our teenage years, the things we own begin to change. We collect items that fit that stage of life, and they become part of our most treasured memories. We grow attached to them. They may create conflicts with friends, yet they can also strengthen friendships. Sometimes they even become the reason we are admired or accepted by others. As young adults, we encounter another set of possessions that reflect the needs of that season of life. Through them, we experience excitement, hope, fear, gratitude, and many other emoti...
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